Last post

The title says it all. This is the last post for 'It's Not Contagious', so I'll let you know what's been happening and what the future holds for this blog. Yes there are plans for it within PMR, which I will give you the basic info about later. First things first though, here's the latest about my mental health.

Last week, I spent 24 hours with a load of electrodes glued to my head and a portable EEG recorder attached to my waist by a belt. I had a few different instances of the mental anomolies that have been plaguing me for so long. Now that the neuroscience department at Musgrove Park Hospital has some data to look at, as well as my written record of events, Dr Fish has a fighting chance of finding out what's wrong. I see him in September to find out what his findings are. News of this will be reported in Planet Maz on PMR, on my facebook page and in Planet Life.

So this blog has done it's job and there are plans to recycle this into an e-zine type of thing called Planet Life. Work is to start soon on this project, which will be a part of Planet Maz Radio, with news of what's happening around PMR and in my transition. As the title suggests, Planet Life is based around life on Planet Maz. Since I had to give up publishing The Right Future, due to printing costs being out of my financial reach, I have had many people asking me when it will be published again. Unfortunately, TRF was too successful too soon. It hadn't developed enough to warrant charging for it and it was not very attractive to advertisers, because they want to see circulation in the thousands and TRF was only in the low hundreds. Planet Life will be available as a pdf to download and print. Exactly what is going to be in it, is still being planned. A lot of what was in TRF will be adapted to suit this type of publishing and will be as current as TRF was. It is hoped to eventually publish Planet Life on a monthly basis, but it will be published on a two monthly basis to start with. It still needs to be designed and formatted to suit the image and feel of Planet Maz. I'm quite excited about this as well as nervous about doing something so new to me. I think I have another steep learning curve coming up! TTFN.

A Small Triumph Over Panic Attacks

It's a sunny Saturday in Yeovil and I'm still feeling good after Tuesday's news. Had another bill from the council asking me to pay community charge. I still want to know what's happened to my community charge benefit. I thought that the brown envelope would be news about my welfare benefit, that still hasn't been paid, but it was from the council and I very nearly had a panic attack. The good news is that I managed to prevent it from happening, so I must be still on that high with a good dose of confidence. On the 12th of June, I am going to clinic for the first full session with Sara. Afterwards, I will be hopping on the underground to meet a lovely friend who I only know from Facebook. I am looking forward to finally meeting Helen after all this time and hope that we have a good afternoon.

It's the Tuesday After a Couple of Down Days

Saturday evening's PM Live Weekender was a good show. I felt pretty good after a great day that carried on into a good show. Then Sunday happened. My permanent headache decided that I was going to have a lousy day. I don't like using painkillers at the best of times but I had no choice by Sunday afternoon. The painkillers I take for this situation are the strongest of their kind. Something so strong should be able to cope with keeping a permanent headache in check, shouldn't it? Usually it does, except for Sunday afternoon. Eventually, the pain was reduced to a loud roar, which is not the usual dull roar that I can cope with. It was like a 20 ton steam hammer whacking a massive block of steel into submission right next to me. Every few seconds, the clanging sound of that hammer whacking red hot metal would echo round my head. I tried going to bed and gave up on scriptwriting and recording a radio show. Get some sleep and do it on Monday. Good idea.

Getting through the night to Monday morning was a fresh challenge. Sleep was not easy to come by. A doze here and a doze there does not make for a good night's sleep. It was still steam hammer day in the foundry that had started work in my head. At least it was now only a 10 ton hammer clanging on the hot steel. So not much improvement for the head and Monday is mostly a blank to me. I do know that the show didn't get recorded again, and it wasn't going to get done on Tuesday either.

Tuesday arrives and my head is finally getting back to the dull roar that stays mostly in the background. I need to catch the local express coach to London at 10.30 this morning and I make it with time to spare for a cup of tea in the cafe on Yeovil bus station. I need some good news today to perk me up a bit after the last couple of days. A pleasant journey to London with the day turning into a bright and warm sunny day. That's a good start to the day. My favourite butty bar had Louisiana Chicken baguettes today but I missed the last one and settled for a chicken tikka wrap instead. As I walked down Fulham Palace Road to the clinic, I saw something that made me smile. On the opposite side of the road, two minutes from the clinic, was a brand new Caffee Nero! That boosted the mood a bit. When I met the lovely Sara Thomas, the electrologist who was going to start zapping those pesky genital hairs, I was immediately put at ease by her friendly demeanour. We talked about what the electrolysis would do and how I was to look after myself during the coming months. Then came the moment of truth. An assessment of the area to zap and a test patch to see how I cope with the treatment. It's not as painful as I thought it would be considering the sensitive area getting zapped. My first full session is in three weeks time on the 12th of June. Working out the time line of treatment puts the surgery at the end of the year. It could well be the greatest Christmas present ever. TTFN.

At Least the Weekend's Nearly Here

This morning at 9.00, I was waiting for Dr Fish to get sorted out for my appointment at Yeovil District Hospital. When I went in to see him, he asked if one of the doctors at Musgrove Park Hospital had seen me yet. I gave him a surprise when I told him that I had seen Mr Barnaby Sheridan and had also had the surgery. So, after he got over the surprise, he had a look at my hand to see how it was. I told him that there has been some improvement in sensation and grip, so he tested for it. That was surprise number two for him because it has only been three days since surgery and there are signs of improvement. He will be writing to Barnaby with the news. We agreed that there is quite a way to go before it's anything like normal but it is going in the right direction. What will be the next stage of investigation into my mental health condition? Getting a handle on the absence episodes is what. Dr Fish mentioned a word after a phone call to Charli about the episode I had in Sunderland. It was a word that I have been ready for since these episodes started. Epileptic. I don't know if it was a medical opinion or a slip of the tongue but the next stage of the investigation should give big clues. I will be spending some time in Musgrove Park Hospital again, this time 24 hours for an ambulatory EEG test. I will be wired up to a portable EEG machine for 24 hours to try to get a trace of my brainwaves during an episode. All I can say is 'bring it on' so that we can find out what is happening to me and get it under control.

It's nearly the weekend when I can relax and enjoy loads of NCIS, CSI and Law & Order. I am really looking forward to it after this week's events, it will be like therapy for me! Feeling quite good, as I do now, will set me up for a good weekend watching favourite telly shows and doing PM Live at 7pm UK time on Saturday. Email thisisplanetmaz@gmail.com for links and/or info. So as long as nothing earth shattering happens, I should be OK until Monday at least. So I will be posting again then.TTFN.

Feeling Sore, Trying to Catch Up and Get Some Sleep

Tuesday and I am so calm about being in the Day Surgery Unit at Musgrove Park Hospital. I thought that I would be nervous with a feeling of dreadful events coming to pass. How come I am not dreading having my elbow cut open and having someone poke around to put a main nerve right? Most of the people involved in this operation are total strangers that I have only just met. I am somewhat amazed at the confidence that I am showing in these people. With the way my mind has been behaving in recent times, I would have bet money on me being a nervous wreck on this day. Now that crunch time has arrived, I am in the operating theatre laughing and joking with the people who are going to be attempting to repair my elbow. So I wilfully lie down and accept the I V valve being inserted into the back of my hand before the oxygen mask descends onto my face. "Take a few deep breaths" is the last thing I hear until I start to wake up in the recovery room. My first feeling is of the ventilator pipe sliding out of my throat. I hear a voice but don't know what it is saying at first. Then I hear my name and start to focus on my surroundings as well as I can without my glasses. The bed starts to move and I am soon back in the ward where I walked from about an hour or so before. On the chair is my dressing gown that I hung up in theatre earlier. Now I just need to wait for my lift home. I got plenty of reading done and most of the Planet Maz script written and watched people coming and going until, just before 7pm, my lift arrived. I had been getting a plentiful supply of tea and biscuits while I wiled away the time until I left for home. I did make a few fans while I was there and the link to the Planet Maz Radio site is being passed around and shared. The team were brilliant and there will be mentions for them on Thursday's PM Live Midweek, so I hope they will all be listening.

Wednesday is supposed to be my pay day except that the benefits office has messed up again and I haven't been paid. To add insult to injury, the council has sent me a bill for council tax and I'm supposed to be receiving Housing and council tax benefits, so I have more incompetence to deal with tomorrow. Also tomorrow, I get to take the padded bandage off my elbow. Talking of which, I hope that I get a better night's sleep tonight. I am not someone who can lie on their back and go to sleep. I have to elevate my arm so I have to sleep on my back. I don't like it at all. So I'll try to get some better sleep than I had last night. At least Planet Maz got recorded and uploaded successfully. That's about all for now. Let's see what else can go wrong tomorrow. TTFN.

Elbow Repair Day Begins

It's 5.40am and I'm having a weak black coffee to get myself going. I think another one will be needed to get to work on my addled brain. All I have to do now is get a quick shower and get dressed. Then I shall be ready for Carl to pick me up at 7am.

I am feeling calm at the moment, just thinking that I will be happier when it's all done and dusted. When we get to the Day Surgery Unit at Musgrove Park Hospital will, I think, be the time when the butterflies start practising somersaults for the Olympics. I reckon that Carl will be a calming influence though. He has that kind of calming demeanour about him and is quite soft spoken. No doubt we will be having a giggle or two on the journey, as our senses of humour tend to get some kind of energy when we meet up. I hope that I shall be lively enough to post on here tonight, otherwise I will be back tomorrow.TTFN.

Time to Catch Up and Think of Tomorrow

It's Monday 14th of May and the last few days have been annoying to say the least. My permanent headache has been getting ideas above its station and the dongle didn't quite make it to the end of Saturday's PM Live show. Also, the morning routine was worse than normal on Saturday with a more powerful absence that lasted a lot longer than usual. I can put up with the first hour or so of the day being a blank. When it's just remembering sitting on the side of my bed wearing pyjamas, then nothing until lunch time and I'm sat in an armchair in the living room fully dressed, then it disturbs me. What happened to the morning? What had I been doing? I have no idea apart from the obvious, that is getting dressed and coming downstairs to have a hot drink or two. Yes I had made at least one cup of tea and drank it or them. I don't think I fell down the stairs or anything because I didn't feel sore anywhere and there was no furniture moved about or anything like that, so not a lot to go on. It could be that my brain switched off when the headache went into overdrive. That's the only thing I can think of because it was giving me some heavy duty aggro. I kept fairly quiet until it was time for PM Live. Sunday was spent catching up with some favourite telly shows (NCIS & CSI for those of you who don't know). I went to bed at 1am thinking that I could have a lie in as I didn't need to go anywhere until the afternoon today. So I woke up at about 6.45am and could not get back to sleep. I still don't feel too tired and I have to be up by 5.30am at the latest.


It's tomorrow that I get to see the gorgeous Dr Barney Sheridan again. In the morning, he will be playing with my elbow while I have a snooze. This little job should give me a useful left arm again as the Ulnar Nerve needs to be decompressed at the elbow. Being right handed, I tend to take my left arm for granted until I can't use it properly. That is when a right handed person realises how important the left arm really is and, I dare say, it's the same the other way round as well.


Right. It's getting on and I want to get a bath and hair wash before bed, so I will bid you a good night and pleasant dreams. If you think I'm calm about tomorrow, think of the swan gliding across the lake so serenely. Then remember that it is paddling like mad underneath. I'm not quite so serene inside as my writing may suggest.TTFN.