So I haven't been on here for a couple of days, mainly because I don't live in the cyber world 24/7! I have been feeling a bit low because of my dongle running out of credit and not being able to get it stoked up until today. I gave the Planet Maz Growth Fund a plug on Facebook which brought forth some Planet Maz heroes who helped out. I did shed a joyous tear or two and gratefully put some donations to work. My humble thanks go out to those heroes, who know who they are.
These past couple of days have been pretty miserable and I have been catching up on some paperwork. Also, I have been working out the temporary measures I must take to keep Planet Maz Radio on air. I didn't want to do this but I must until I can get things back to normal. Planet Maz will remain a 55 minute show because of the Radio Ear Network slot but PMLive will have to change for a while. It will be shortened to an hour show for both the Thursday and Saturday shows. It is sad that I have to do this and it affects me a lot. The new Planet Maz show was recorded earlier and I didn't really do the best job that I could. During one of the items in the show, I nearly broke down in tears. This was due to two things. Firstly, I am feeling a bit down about the cutting of programme time for PMLive, which I think shows in the below par standard of hosting. Secondly, part of the trans aspects item was very emotional for me. It mentioned the death of the most precious friend I ever had, who I will always love and miss so very much. I was left trying to work out when to start the last track in the show for it to end on time, and failing miserably to perform this simple calculation that I must have done thousands of times over the years. Despite everything that has been going on, I am still pushing myself onward with as much positive energy as I can muster. There will come a time when I can get back to being myself without having to struggle through all this.
However, there has been some positive news to give me a bit of a lift in the emotion department. I've had a phone call from the Gender Identity Clinic, or I should say Sara Thomas from the GIC. Sara is an electrologist. For those of you who don't know, that is someone who removes unwanted hair. In this case we are talking about electrolysis on the genital hair. Perhaps you may think that such a tender and painfull subject should not be counted as a happy event. For me it signals the beginning of the final stages of my transition. As this is the penultimate stage, I can now look forward to the surgery that will be such a fantastic change to my life. I know that it will be the biggest boost possible to my self-confidence as well as being quite sore. May is looking like a busy month and I will keep you up to date on here. TTFN
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